Reading in a Multiverse

Eijo: 2012 is the year I get my read on, gonna read lotsa books. Of course, I said that last year but I ended up reading only about half as many books as I’d read the year before. Something happened last spring that stopped me dead in my tracks, and that something was called Game of Thrones. I watched the first episode during an HBO free preview weekend, and then promptly ordered HBO and bought the Game of Thrones book. Had it read by the time episode two aired. And then I spent the next six months positively addicted to the books in George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire epic, and once I finished? I’m sorry to say I was so used to the high suspense and entertainment A Song of Ice and Fire provided, that other books just couldn’t compete. So 2011 was a wash, reading-wise, but not this year! Oh no.

I just finished reading Michio Kaku’s Physics of the Impossible. In the words of the subtitle the book is “a scientific exploration into the world of phasers, force fields, teleportation, and time travel.” So yeah, this book was awesome.

Physics is my favorite science; astrophysics is my favorite physics; and cosmology (or the study of the universe) is my favorite area of astrophysics. How did the universe begin? How big is it? What shape is it? How is it going to end, or will it end at all? These are the questions that I love thinking about, and the theories seem to get wilder when smart folks who are good at math start thinking about them too.

Kaku’s a compelling writer who, in Physics of the Impossible, uses the sci-fi tropes we all know and love (laser guns, time travel, seeing into the future…) as a doorway to teaching real science, but more than that he’s part of a generation of what I’ll uncouthly call “celebrity physicists” who use their natural charm and entertainment savvy to lay some mad knowledge on all us laypeople.

You got Stephen Hawking of course, who along with Carl Sagan could be considered the avant garde of this new camera-ready generation of physicists. Then there’s Neil deGrasse Tyson, who hosts his own tv show NOVA scienceNOW as well as the awesome podcast StarTalk; he’s a regular guest on The Daily Show and The Colbert Report; and he’s currently working with Family Guy’s Seth MacFarlane on an update of Sagan’s classic documentary series Cosmos. And there’s Brian Greene, who’s produced two great NOVA series, The Elegant Universe and The Fabric of the Cosmos, based on his books of the same names. Tyson and Greene also guest starred as themselves on The Big Bang Theory. Which brings us right back to Michio Kaku, who’s hosted several shows of his own including Sci-Fi Science and Visions of the Future.

Maybe it’s the math, maybe it’s the big questions, maybe it’s the weird answers (still can’t get my head around the whole “speed of light is constant no matter how fast you’re moving” thing) but physics is considered one of the less merciful sciences out there — but now we have these accomplished scientists taking time out to explain it all to us in plain English and I really appreciate that. Because I suck at math.

Song of the day is from the album I just picked up by Wild Flag — I was a huge fan of Sleater-Kinney and it was a freakin’ bummer when they broke up, but now Carrie Brownstein (love to Portlandia) and Janet Weiss are back in this new band, and it’s got all the classic rock flair that I love.

Uncle Stevie Does It Again!

Eijo: Just finished reading Stephen King’s latest novel, 11/22/63, and whooooo-doggies, it’s a good’n! It strikes me that King has entered a new phase in his writing, a period of lean mean storytelling that hits the ground running and doesn’t stop until the last page.

This is a distinct break from the pacing you’ll find in King’s earlier work. Let me put it this way — I learned how to skim like an son-of-a-gun by reading his books when I was a kid. I’ve always loved his stuff, but I ain’t gonna lie — I’ve got a shaky attention span. Anything that isn’t moving the story forward annoys me. Always has. To this day if a novel hits the alleys of flashback or deep characterization, it had better come with the prose thunder, like mind-blowing Salman Rushdie level work, if I’m gonna be expected to read each n’ every word. Otherwise, I’m skimming until something relevant to the larger story happens.

King’s always told sharply-plotted stories, but he often takes a leisurely almost stream-of-conscious approach to the telling. He doesn’t hesitate to step off the path and explore the past of a character or place sometimes peripheral to the story. One often gets the feeling while reading King of hearing a story at night around a campfire. There’s a casual confidence to his work that feels personal, almost intimate. It’s one of King’s charms. So I wanna make clear that I don’t find his wandering focus to be a weakness as a writer, but rather that my impatience for it is a weakness as a reader.

Nevertheless, something changed in recent years. My theory is J.K. Rowling and her Harry Potter novels. I remember noticing at the time that Rowling had pulled off something in her later books that I’d rarely seen — she wrote 700 to 900 page doorstops that sped along without stopping for anything. They didn’t have an ounce of fat on them, despite their epic sizes, and built up such momentum that suddenly 700 pages felt too short. It was quite a feat and King, a vocal fan of Rowling’s Harry Potter novels, may have been inspired by it.

Aiming specifically for a new, higher pacing and tighter plotting, King released Under the Dome in 2009, a novel that comes in at a whopping 1,072 pages (even bigger than his arguable masterpiece The Stand) yet zooms along faster than anything else in his collection — excepting perhaps the breathless pacing of a couple of his early (and much shorter) Bachman books, Rage and The Long Walk.

Under the Dome‘s insanely entertaining pace was part of its design. King comments in his author’s note, “I tried to write a book that would keep the pedal consistently to the metal. Nan [Graham, King's editor] understood that, and whenever I weakened, she jammed her foot down on top of mine and yelled (in the margins, as editors are wont to do), “Faster, Steve! Faster!”

At the time, I considered Under the Dome to be a one-shot, a kind of creative experiment to see if he could keep up a break-neck pacing at over 1,000 pages. And then I read 11/22/63 (which weighs in at a substantial 849 pages itself) and damn if that book don’t run! If anything, it’s his fastest book yet, with suspense that reaches near unbearable heights. I feel like we’ve entered a fantastic new period in Stephen King’s work where he guns it for the horizon, and all us Constant Readers (lucky skunks that we are) just gotta hold on and enjoy the ride.

Oh, and speaking of a son-of-a-gun, here’s the single from Oh Land that I absolutely cannot stop listening to. Enjoy!

Spoiler alerts may save us all from becoming ninny-babies

The Schube:  You know that annoying dude who ruined the ending of The Sixth Sense by telling you about it before you saw the movie?

I know it was years ago and that’s a bit too long to hold a grudge. You’ve forgiven him. You’ve moved on, and so has Mr. Spoiler. I’d like to say he’s grown, and in many ways he has…but not for the better.

He’s gotten sneakier. He’s multiplied himself like that dude from The Matrix, and now homeboy’s got his mitts into headlines on TV, in magazines (I’m talking to you, Entertainment Weekly), online.

He’s even dug his claws into Facebook status updates (“I’m so lucky to see this sneak peek of the new X-Men – Can’t believe Batman kills Hugh Jackman with a crack pipe!”).

Mr. Spoiler’s army of entertainment-haters has one frightening mission: To kill suspense. By keeping us over-informed of any upcoming surprises in movies and such, we won’t experience any true excitement and thrill when these moments actually happen.

He won’t stop until suspense has been butchered so extensively there’s no hope for its return in a sequel.

At this point, I fear Mr. Spoiler’s unstoppable because he’s rubbing off on many of us. I won’t go calling anybody out, but I know several folks who have no problem with reading spoilers in advance; in fact, they actually seek out spoilers for upcoming movies!

From an entertainment standpoint, I fear he’s turning us into a nation of sissies who can’t stand the thought of actually being surprised by something we’re paying good money to see.

Or perhaps he’s made the spoiler part of our everyday lives…just another annoyance to deal with, like clipping our toenails or trimming our nose hair, to the point where it feels like a social necessity.

I don’t know what may happen to entertainment if he gets any stronger, but – (SPOILER ALERT!) – the suspense is killing me.

Holiday shopping for maniacs

The Schube: With the holiday season closing in faster than a rabid reindeer, this seems like a great time to share some of our favorite gift ideas that work well for the writers and/or horror fans on your shopping list.

Though we love the thought behind those writing journals we often get from our loved ones during the holidays, sometimes we need some inspiration to help us fill all those blank pages. Here are some fun ideas to kick-start the imagination!

The Exorcist Christmas Greeting Cards – “Just because you’re possessed by the devil doesn’t mean you can’t be festive.”

Just brilliant.

Check out this Etsy.com artist’s other work to find other great ones like Michael Myers peeking in on his holiday victim hiding in a closet.

 

Frankenstein’s Monster and Bride Flask Set – Perfect for bringing out the creative monster in you!  This artist also makes Vlad the Impaler flasks, and let’s face it – you can never have too many flasks. (Extra points for this absurdly creepy Burt Reynolds flask, by the way.)

 

Vintage horror movie posters printed on antique book pages – How awesome is this Horror of Dracula poster?  Oh, and this Nosferatu one? I need more wall space!

Zombie family decals – Are you sick of those happy little family stickers on the back of minivans everywhere?

Raise a little hell with these zombie decals, including undead pets and a risen-from-the-grave baby!

 

Fangoria Magazine subscription – You’ll be hard-pressed to find a successful horror writer today who doesn’t have at least a few dog-eared old copies of this mag laying around somewhere. The best part? It’s still just as relevant and inspiring today as it has been for decades, thanks to writers like Michael Gringold and Andrea Albin.

Alright, get busy shopping, maniacs. And if you’re shopping for me, be sure to get me something good – or you won’t get invited to the marathon showing of The Gingerdead Man and The Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust.

Take this story and shove it

The Schube: We’ve made several posts over the past few weeks focused on the need for writers to staying focused, ambitious and positive. But what happens when someone tells you that you suck?

To rephrase, what happens when you send your story out into the world and it gets rejected? Of course the editor isn’t actually insinuating you’re a terrible writer, but let’s face it: after even two or three rejections in a row, it’s easy to start feeling like the pimply kid left alone at the dance for a reason.

We’ve drawn inspiration by the stories of Stephen King’s Carrie being turned down by publishers about 30 times; Gone With the Wind’s rejection nearly 40 times; and – seriously – the Diary of Anne Frank getting tossed back 16 times before it found a proper home (not dramatic enough, apparently). Louis L’Amour supposedly received 200 rejections before he sold his first book.

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s love, Zelda, wouldn’t marry him until he published a story. Legend has it he papered his bedroom walls with rejection slips before he won her hand. Now that’s some motivation!

We could say, like the Brits do, “Keep calm and carry on” when your story’s rejected. But when you’ve invested sweat, tears and half a year’s worth of your free time into a story, platitudes can’t get you through it.

There’s no mantra that works. There’s no amount of comfort food or scotch that can fill that void between an acceptance letter and the dusty file where you toss the stories you’ve given up on. There’s only this question: How badly do you really want to see your work published so the world can see it?

Ultimately, rejections are nothing more or less than a test of commitment.

If you’re truly serious, then no amount of rejections will sway you.

Let’s put that rabid leprechaun to work!

The Schube: “The first draft of anything is sh*t,” Ernest Hemingway once said.

That’s something for all of us to keep in mind as we face the blank page and start typing words to anything – short story, screenplay, love letter or grocery list.

I recently mentioned to Eijo that the first draft of our new script was coming along almost too easy. It’s rare that a first draft feels like a second draft, and when that happens it means one of two things: You’ve developed one hell of a solid outline to work from, or you’re actually writing a piece of literary dookie that entertains only you and bores the britches off everyone else.

Here’s to hoping, of course, that in our case it’s the first one. The point is that Hemingway’s quote rings quite true more often than not. And the unfortunate result is that countless amazing stories are never finished because their authors give up after the first draft.

As two dudes who have tossed our fair share of first drafts in the recycle bin, we know how easy it is to get discouraged when the words don’t work their David Blaine-like magic on the page in the first go-round.

But if you’re working from an idea that excited you, and – this is just as crucial – have an outline that you feel pretty good about, it’s okay for the first draft to be crap. Here’s something Eijo taught me a few years ago that I wish I’d learned way back in middle school:

Even if your first draft is completely dreadful, you’re still one major step closer to a powerful final draft — because now you know what not to do in your next draft.

Your idea to add a rabid leprechaun running around in the background of your story’s climax may or may not add to the level of tension you’re trying to create. You won’t know until you write him into the scene and see if he works. You can always leave him out of the second draft, or have him move to the foreground and bite somebody if it helps.

We rarely get a second chance in real life, but fiction gives us as many drafts as we need to get it right. So keep at it, maniacs!

Today’s song is guaranteed to make you feel as good as that final draft will feel when it turns out even better than you hope – however many drafts that takes.

Start at the Beginning… and the End

fractal art by Sven Geier

Eijo: Maniacs like me n’ The Schube tend not to do things in the conventional way, but there’s always a practical reason behind our whacky methods. One good example of this is that we like to write the beginning and the end of a script first.

Our thinking is this: the beginning and ending are the most important parts of a story in terms of audience impact (beginning: toss the audience in the deep end of drama and excitement — ending: send them home saying, “what a good story that was!”), and as such we wanna make sure to give those parts as much attention as possible.

We write a lotta drafts. Like, seriously A LOTTA drafts. So many that we tend to name them rather than number them. The first draft of Asylum, a rough assemblage of scenes The Schube and I had split off and written on our own and then stitched together, was called the Frankenstein Draft. Later rewrites included the Hellraiser Draft, the Zombie Draft, the Rawhead Rex Draft, and the Leatherface Draft. Our final version was the Pazuzu Draft (just like Mac’s OS X “big cat” names, we had us a theme).

Writing (and rewriting) is often compared to painting — you’re always adding a fresh coat to earlier work while spreading out to do new parts. So we just figured it makes sense that the beginning and the ending should get the most coats. It ups our chances of closing out a script at least as strong as we opened it. Plus, it combats the issue of writer fatigue. We’ve all seen movies where it’s clear everyone involved just fizzled out, lost their way, ran out of ideas, and threw together an ending that limps off the stage. Total bummer every time, and it’s one more example of how our methods are often built out of a desire to avoid the pitfalls that have swallowed so many writers.

The audience should probably experience a movie in chronological order (time-bending exceptions notwithstanding of course) but there’s no law stating the writer has to as well. Heck, I’d recommend writing that ending as soon as you can. Have real fun writing a wild closer that you find satisfying, then hone n’ perfect it while you go back and write everything leading up to it. Already knowing where you started and where you’re headed, you’ll be able to tighten up that middle section and aim it like a laser, barreling your audience head-on into the stunning conclusion. And as always, have fun!

On last week’s episode of Saturday Night Live, Florence + the Machine blew the roof off with the performance of their new single “Shake it Out.” Add in the choir n’ the percussion n’ the whole nine? Gives me chills every time.

Run! The Truth is Coming, and It’s Ugly!

The Schube: Have you been watching FX’s “American Horror Story?”  If you haven’t, it’s often fantastic and frightening. But this post ain’t about the show — it’s about the scary people watching it.

At least several hundred viewers expressed their intense disgust and highly offended outrage when a recent storyline involved a Columbine-like shooting in a school. Their comments online ranged from saying the show “went too far” and “only aimed to offend,” to others touting “I haven’t seen it yet but now I definitely won’t.”

Huh?

The fact that addressing a topic in fiction based on a nightmarish true event like Columbine can still garner a public outcry in 2011 – especially in the horror genre, which has withstood centuries by providing us with catharsis and an appreciation for mortality – that’s the American horror story to me.

Most writers honestly don’t write scenes like these thinking, “Hey, this might offend some dumbass,” because writing fiction is (perhaps ironic to some) about writing the truth. And ugly truths, as it turns out, make for great drama. So that only gives us more reason take on the big questions, no matter how uncomfortable or outright painful they may be to sensitive folks.

Many of our best movies – especially the scary ones – are inspired by real horrors. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The Exorcist. Even Nightmare on Elm Street.There’s a reason those are successful. They use fake boogeymen to help us explore real terrors. We come out the other side alive, and better for it.

There’s an easy argument that folks on my side of the fence often make: Use your TV remote if you don’t like it. I disagree entirely. Get your little kiddos out of the room, sure. But don’t turn the channel. I mean, what else are you gonna watch? Some brain-dead show that doesn’t challenge you on any emotional level whatsoever?

I say stick it out and see what happens. Who knows, you might get the bejeesus scared outta ya…but you’ll probably survive. And if you’re lucky, you might even appreciate being alive a bit more, yeah?

Screenplay Structure: Actin’ Out

Eijo: It’s perhaps commonly known that movies are made up of acts, so it follows that if you’re gonna write a screenplay you should probably think in terms of acts as well. But here’s a question: how many acts do you need?

If you’ve done any research into screenwriting, your answer is probably three. Certainly that is a popular choice, but in my own experience it’s actually one of the least effective ways to go. The Hulk (who’s damned insightful about such things for a gamma ray mutant with anger issues) recently wrote an excellent post in his blog FILM CRIT HULK! HULK BLOG! about the myth of the three-act structure. Great read — I totally recommend it.

Suffice it to say, the three-act structure is one of the key reasons why so many movies get boring in the middle. One problem is, the acts aren’t identical in size. The first and third acts are shorter, taut, packed with important events — that’s why even bad movies tend to feel focused at the beginning and the end — but the second act is as big as the other two combined, often creating a dead zone where not much of anything happens.

Despite the graph there referring to Act 2 as “the real meat of the story,” in reality it’s usually a big flabby mass of unimportant crap that’s little more than prelude to the (hopefully) exciting conclusion. Writers get lost in all the unmarked terrain, lose sight of the story and sometimes even the characters. It’s a mess. (Films that succeed within the three-act structure, like The Empire Strikes Back or Jaws, often feature three acts that are roughly equal in size and thus avoid the saggy-bottom second act problems others run into.)

As the logical progression in our quest to avoid dead zones in our scripts — which includes the “tentpole” method I mentioned in an earlier post — The Shube and I put a lot of thought into deciding how many acts we want to use. Each script has different needs, a different pace to it… a different shape if you will. For instance: despite the fact that it’s designed to play out like a spontaneous string of random events punctuated with bouts violence and madness, our screenplay Asylum is actually made up of four carefully-plotted acts.

We treat each act as a full story in itself, or like it’s an episode in a tv show with its own beginning, middle, and end. Then we put them all together and voila! One full screenplay. By taking on four short stories rather than one big one, we’re able to focus our plot n’ keep things moving without losing sight of where we need to go. Ideally this helps us avoid wasting time and pages wandering around in circles (I could list out too many movies that do this, but then again I’m sure you could too).

So how many acts do you need? Well, looking at acts as if they’re tv episodes, just ask yourself how many episodes you need in order to tell the best story. Get crazy — break your story into smaller stories, try different combinations, dream up smaller endings that’ll turn the story on its ear and send it careening in an all new and exciting direction, and as always: have fun!

Okie-doke, enough of my babblin’ — let’s get to the song of the day. Here’s “When I’m Small” by Phantogram!