A Wistful Straightjacket

The Schube: I’ll get right to the point: There’s a coffee-table book of photos called “Asylum: Inside the Closed World of State Mental Hospitals,” and it has blown my hair back.

I’d like to recommend it to ya. The pics were shot by an incredibly talented fellow named Christopher Payne. I don’t know him, but wish I did. He has done something rather amazing with a camera lens and a heart.

Now if you’re the type who thinks, “Meh, not for me,” I understand. You’re probably thinking, I don’t want a bunch of pretentious and depressing loony bin pics on my coffee table. Moving on.

No worries. But that’s not at all what this is about.

Mr. Payne has somehow, through a concoction of genuine talent, empathy and – for lack of a better word, wistfulness — managed to capture something that falls smack-dab in the middle of haunting, poetic eloquence and the stark reality that happens when government and medicine enterwine.

This is a a series of photos that reminds us of our humanity, for good or for bad, and often for both.  

It would be too easy to turn this short review into a diatribe about the way our society has failed its mentally challenged residents, letting once-thriving state hospitals like these become hollow shells that now stand like ghostly monoliths on the edge of town to breed local boogey-man myths.

That’s all quite true. Yet there’s more to it than that.

There’s rarely a hint of a ghost in Payne’s photos. Nor is there violence: You’ll find no dried blood on the cracked tile, no claw-marks ripping up the padded cell. A row of straight-jackets hanging on a wall conjures all sorts of stereotypical imagery, sure — until another snapshot of a musty room filled with abandoned suitcases reminds us the people who inhabited these buildings were just that…People. Like you and me.

What we get here is layer upon layer of depth, imagination, historical record, visual urban poetry, and art that lays bare the human condition.

Vines snake upward along the concrete walls, pushing through the broken glass and curling over the razorwire that stretches around the asylums. A childlike painting occasionally peeks out among the weeds, waiting for the sunlight to make its face visible. We’re reminded within these pages that we are flawed, and beautiful. And flawed.

Payne’s afterword describes the feeling he had watching one of these old buildings as it was torn down in the name of progress. Within the span of a few hours, we can see how months of construction and years of therapy that took place within these hallways can be turned to dust to make way for…what? A mall? A housing development? A highway? A supercenter?

There are no people in these photos, yet we sense them there in every frame.

We see their bowling shoes, stacked upon each other, collecting spiders and mountains of dust. We see their graffiti, inspired and sincere. The puppets in their craft projects grin with a creepy earnestness. Their dresses and coats, their handmade Christmas decorations — they’re out of fashion, no doubt. But still, they look like something we might have made.

As for the patients and inmates who were treated there… We’re left to wonder what happened to them.

The Boogeyman won’t leave… He’s waving outside my window

The Schube: I’m staring at a hand wrapped in gauze. Unblinking eyes stare back at me from fingers on the hand. I’m in the second grade, and my mind has just officially been blown.

The cover art on this dog-eared paperback book fascinates me. I recognize the title phrase – “Night Shift” – because my mom’s a nurse and works overnights. I wonder if she’s ever treated a patient whose hand has eyes peering out of it. I’d ask her, but she’s busy chatting with my godmother who’s chain-smoking cigarettes in the kitchen.

I open the book among a fog of nicotine and try to read the words as my eyes burn from the smoke.

I can make out many of the words, but I don’t really understand what they’re saying because of the way they’re strung together.

This isn’t like any of the books I’ve read in school. This is a grown-up book, far too complex for me. I’m probably not supposed to be reading it, which makes me yearn to comprehend it even more.

The book has several stories, many with titles that set my imagination on fire. The Mangler. The Boogeyman. Sometimes They Come Back. (They do? Oh lordy, who are “they?” And what kind of bad business do they do when they return?)

Children of the Corn.

This last one is especially enticing, even haunting. Because outside the nearby window (its glass grown beige with a sticky film of nicotine) is what seems like the world’s tallest cornfield.

Wait, there are kids walking among those crops? Do they have eyes in their hands?

I know a few things in this instant. One, I can try to read these stories all day and they’re not going to make sense to me. Not yet. But one day they will, and I absolutely cannot wait for that day. I’d give up candy for a month, maybe a year to be able to understand them right now. For now, all I can do is stare at that cover, and the table of contents, imagining what kind of wild ideas must exist in those stories.

One thing I don’t know yet, and won’t know until at least a few years later: This is the moment I became a writer. Those stories I was coming up with in my mind to fill the void of not being able to read…they weren’t great, but they weren’t bad either. They kept me entertained, even gave me bad dreams. And when my mom left for the night shift that night, I didn’t ask her about the hand with the eyes.

I was pretty sure she’d laugh and tell me that stuff never happened.

That was just fine. I already liked my version better.

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And so what about you, ya maniac? What was the moment that inspired you to become who you are today? (Bonus points if it turned you into someone who taps a keyboard for a living, of course. Heh heh…)  Hit us up in the comments section on the blog. Don’t be shy. After all, your hand is staring at that mouse, unblinking, and it’s itching to click…